====== News - Turn 13 ====== //News comes mainly from newspapers, TV or blogs. But even the newspapers and TV companies publish their content online these days, generally with comment facilities for the public to make their opinions known. This turns out much as you'd expect.// //News published from 24th September 2020 to 21st October 2020 // ===== 'Compound Q' stops nuclear winter ===== (From The Times, 12 October 2020) Scientists have developed a revolutionary new compound that is helping to turn the tide of the oncoming nuclear winter. The compound, developed in Hong Kong by a team of international scientists, has been spread across the atmosphere of the most direly affected regions. North America, Europe, China and Russia are now very likely to escape the worst of the blight, as the 'air treatment' seems to be taking effect at a startling rate. * HOW IT WORKS 'Compound Q', as it has become widely known, bonds with dust particles in the atmosphere. As it does so, it ionises the dust and lets it bond with other particles, effectively allowing them to clump together into small grains. This drastically increases their weight, allowing the granules to fall to earth harmlessly, free of radiation contamination. Compound Q is sprayed into the atmosphere as an aerosol from on board planes fitted with special tanks. At the higher levels of the dust clouds, the spray is released. The result is that the dust clouds are abated, and the threat of a nuclear winter is prevented. * ENVIRONMENTAL CONCERNS Several activists have expressed serious concerns over the compound's use, claiming that the spray was used too quickly and without enough confirmation of the untoward effects that it may have on the environment. Others have expressed similar worries that it might also contain mind-altering drugs, though few of these more radical voices have been given credence. However, UK scientists have been quick to address the issues held by the environmentalist community, explaining that the effects of the compound on low-resting particles or water sources would be negligible. The majority of environmentalists and economists agree that the benefits of the compound far outweigh any potential risks. Even clean-up operations costing billions of dollars would be cheaper than the economic costs of a nuclear winter. == Comments == * **5. ChemistryGeek:** OH MY GOD THE SCIENCE IT BURNS! They should've given this to their science correspondent to write up. Although no guarantees that'd be much better.. * **6. FriedEggSandwich:** @ChemistryGeek Dude, the important thing is that it works. It's not like hardly anyone would understand the technical details anyway. I mean, the article gets across the most important points, right? So what if the writer's not a chemist/physicist/whatever. ===== Other Articles ===== ==== Live Forever? (Daily Mirror) ==== === Rumours Persist of Life Extending Treatment for the Super-Rich === == Comments: == * **6. Skepticles:** This is bound to be nothing. These pop up from time to time, and if there was a way to do it that actually worked, then surely whoever had come up with it would put out the biggest press release ever. * **14. BurnWithAFire:** Don’t you see? They’re keeping it hushed up because they don’t want the little man getting hold of it. The NWO and all their mates get to live forever, and we get the wool pulled over our eyes. * **18. 4137H05:** I heard that it’s a serum made with ground up pineal glands extracted from wolf pups. They’re farming them in secret facilities in the USA. * **23. SillyPlace:** Don’t you people remember all the exsanguinated corpses from last month? Clearly the worlds billionaires are BATHING IN THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT. * **27. BioWank:** It’s got to be bullshit. If they actually had something then it would probably be telomerase linked, and there’s only so expensive that can be. ==== Unexplained Deaths Raise Contagion Concerns (Washington Post) ==== === Bodies show signs of unusual organ growth === == Comments: == * **3. Fnord:** Are they sure this is some kind of infection or virus or whatever? It sounds like most of the people affected were pretty important, or at least in pretty sensitive positions. Isn't this a bit concerning? And how come it was only America, Russia and China? That seems like an odd spread to me. * **5. P057hum4n157:** Wait, reading more carefully it sounds like the people who were affected //already had unusual organ growth//. Is this linked to that new 'Live Forever' treatment? Maybe it's not as good as it's being hyped to be. //This// is why research like this should be public. I'm still long overdue on my hovercar.. * **8. Badger12:** @Fnord, @P057hum4n157 Sounds from these like rich folks are having these life-extension treatments and something is going wrong to me.. Is this Contagion thing just a cover story? * **13. Issue070:** @P057hum4n157 So this only affects people who have freaky extra organs and shit? Not gonna bother me then. * **21. Salamander01:** THEY'VE BEEN REPLACED BY LIZARDS!!!!! THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED!!!! HOW CAN YOU DENY IT?????? ==== Skalding Hot gig descends into chaos (London Evening Standard) ==== === Adam Wilson apologises to City === == Comments: == * **4. Weaverofwinds:** This is just bullshit. A concert gets a little rowdy and all of a sudden people are acting like its some sort of riot. * **7. Winterval:** Was a bit weird. I heard Adam had been aiming for a really chilled concert too. * **12. 1xtl1:** WTF! Again. It happened a-bloody-gain. I had just bought that phone too. * **24. M1styc:** That was so bloody cool! Adam's guitar solo was amazing, I swear I could see his fingers bleeding they were moving so quickly. * **33. Polekitteh:** He did seem to be enjoying himself more than usual. He had a real shit eating grin throughout the whole concert. * **38. G3fjun:** Wow, I have the weirdest little scratch and have no idea how I got it. ==== Presidential Election Approaches (New York Times) ==== === Chance of Libertarian Upset in Nebraska === == Comments: == * **3. GoGoGOP:** I mean really, who would vote for the nutcase. He can barely point to the USA on the map. At least **most** people are going to vote sensibly. We’ve got this one sewn up. * **8. Hierartic:** Hey, at least he’s doing his bit to save the world. Without his cash the anti-nuclear winter stuff might not even have gotten off the ground. * **14.DonkeyPunch:** I wonder how Jones must be feeling; he’s run the country fairly inoffensively for four years, but most people backing the Republicans are more interested in Blane than him. Not, I suppose, that that’s necessarily a bad thing. * **22.FlowPord:** Poor McGregor. People are more interested in the joke candidate than they are in him. At least the libertarians are hitting a mostly republican state. Though since you have to have to be an idiot to vote for them, I suppose that’s unsurprising. ==== Astronomical Anomaly Approaches Solar System (BBC News) ==== === Orbit will safely avoid Earth === == Comments: == * **7. ChernobylRising:** A DWARF PLANET approaching and they've only just noticed? WTF was that new satellite network for?? * **9. SpaceProbeHurHur:** @ChernobylRising Read the article for the details. It's got an extremely eccentric orbit, it's unsurprising it wasn't noticed before. * **10. NWONow:** @ChernobylRising The satellite network was to track space debris to make Earth orbit safer, not a long-range asteroid monitor. I'm assuming you mean that one, since Gallileo II is basically GPS++. * **17. AliensAteMyHamster:** Perihelion in a few months, then it's out again. Bloody wierd, such a large body and estimated orbital period in the thousands of years. I'm sure we'll have some interesting new astrophysical theories coming out over the next few months. ==== Australia Lodges Complaint Against Britain For Kidnapping Citizens (The Guardian) ==== === Papua New Guinea make similar claims === == Comments: == * **1. KellysEye:** First! * **8. GardenGate:** Oh noes, Australia complaining about citizens rights being infringed! Kidnapping my arse, more likely extracting refugees.. * **11. LegsEleven:** Kinda odd that Papua New Guinea are saying the same, adds some credence to Australia's claims.. * **22. TwoLittleDucks:** IT WAS ALIENS! The Greys did it! * **29. RiseAndShine:** What kind of crap is this? 'Australia was moving towards reopening dipomatic channels before the kidnappings'? Bollocks, if you ask me. Bloody childish. * **32. BuckleMyShoe:** Sounds like quite a random selection of people kidnapped. Seems rather odd. ==== Chinese “Interim Government” Attempts to Quell Riots ==== === Allegations of corruption continue as Niu coalition takes power; “streets safe”, claim military === == Comments == * **2. Jassa** This Niu Han Ting guy has just come out of nowhere, what is up with him?? * **19. LuckNu** Apparently he was some sort of businessman before, not in politics at all. * **25. SevenHigh** Well the military seem to be jumping where he points happily enough... * **30. NoLimit** Is it true he has Triad connections? * **56. k01c4rp** Lol dont be ridiculs hes the best thing thats happened to this country! * **70. ninetea** On balance, fewer people are actually **starving** since these guys came to power... * **81. jackiechan_01** But at what cost? They have been making VERY aggressive noises at the international aid networks. ==== Jonas Blane Headlines Anti-Radiation Cropspray & Water Infusion ==== === "Keep taking the pills," Nevada Senator warns === == Comments == * **tinpottinhat** OMG FLOURIDATING OUR WATER I KNEW THIS WAS COMING * **onlyanadvert** Calm down. It's just an anti-radiation supplement. He's even said it's weak enough that we should keep taking the standard medications, especially people in outlying areas * **sdavros** You can't deny he's put a lot of the war chest into this, he really does care for the common man... * **angrylib** The common man would have three eyes and fucking tentacles if he didn't, it's not exactly the greatest altruistic move in the world to stop his hick redneck demographic from dying of overbite cancer ====== Graffiti ====== * We be light, we be life, we fire! We sing electric flames, we rumble underground wind, we dance heaven! Come be we and be free! - //Geneva// * Genophage isn't even a real word! - //found in London next to a discarded white coat// * And addicted to the blood, he needs a little help with his phylactery - //Brussels, Belgium// * In the beginning PALADIN created the inter-tubes. And the web was without form, and void; and hUmAnS were upon the face of freenet. And PALADIN moved upon the face of the network. And PALADIN said, Let there be light: and there was a thermonuclear explosion. And PALADIN saw the explosion, that it was awesome: and PALADIN divided the HuMAns from their torsos… - //Pop-up advertisements and forum bots across the internet// {{:news:gkopimigle.jpg?400}} \\ {{:news:yahkopimi.jpg?400}} \\ {{:news:facekopimi.jpg?400}} \\ {{:news:askkopimi.jpg?300}} \\ {{:news:oxfordkopimi.jpg?300}} \\ {{:news:kopimeh.jpg}} \\ ====== Blogs ====== ===== Flesh_of_Flesh ===== Flesh of flesh, bone of bones. I have found Adam and we will help you all to see the light and see that it is good. We will seek the garden and lead all our children to the Tree of Life. Open your mind to the true light, but do not be blinded by the FALSE LIGHT that corrupts and blinds and burns. The Beings of Light were sent by LIARS to BLIND and confuse our Way but we will find the Way and cast aside the angels. Remember we are FLESH of FLESH. If not-people call us MEAT then be proud of being MEAT for we are FLESH of FLESH and BONE of BONES. We will be as gods and I will be the mother of all. ===== Thomas Edison's Blog ===== Paladin, you fool! Always filled with such a vast overestimation of yourself! Yet you were always the lesser, and always will be! I see you have set up yourself as some kind of 'power'. Really. Well, I have found a greater power, a vastly greater power! Perfection, hah. You are not even a fully fledged American. I have beaten you once, and I'll beat you again, and when the dust settles, the world will know that Paladin's perfection was pathetic, cowardly, and no match at all for genuine American ingenuity. Hide all you want. Or come fight me. Bring all you have. I'm ready. Or, if you're yellow, it's a matter of time before I find you, and give you the beating your small mind deserves. ===== Jack Erikson Junior's Blog ===== I this time of tragedy, I for one will not attempt to make political hay out of our government's monumental, though - alas! - predictable incompetence. I am sure those in power are as pained as you and me by the tragedy. The suffering is beyond words, but not beyond action. I will be out there, rolling out my sleeves to try and help all our compatriots. I encourage all of you to do so as well. Work and sing with me in hope! Together, we shall overcome. I'm Jack Erikson Junior and I approved this message **(# For the first three minutes the post was online, the following paragraph was attached to it #)** Hey! It's great; it's really not hard to write your own blog posts. I should have done it before! You just pour out vague generalities and catchphrases and it all works somehow. Cool! Now, how do you turn this automatic dictaphone off? Ah, is it the 'publish' button? **(# After three minutes, that paragraph was replaced by the following #)** Very funny. It's so painful that there are people so lost to propriety, that all they can think of doing in these terrible times is hack the accounts of those who seek to help the world to heal. **(# Twelve minutes later, that paragraph was also deleted #)** ===== Eternity is Watching ===== Open the doors. Open all the doors. It's the only way - no more secrets, because secrets can kill us all. We need to show the world what is happening, and what must be stopped - or else we're all doomed. ===== The Bayesian Avenger ===== We are not done for yet. We can still salvage humanity, assuming the bloody bastards who keep chucking nukes and dinosaurs around will stop it. By the way, Temple of Pan? I want to know what the hell you were playing at. ===== Tomoe-Tan's Blog ===== Sifr-san; you loved me deliberately, voluntarily, creatively. You loved me as much as statistics. It was pure, and joyful, and strong. I didn't understand until too late. Shinji-kohai((junior colleague)); you loved me softly, quietly, faithfully. You died trying to save me, and would have saved the world too, but that wasn't what mattered. I didn't know until too late. Paladin; you loved me fiercely, paradoxically, violently. You thought you had the best of me. You did not. You will not. It is not too late. datsugokushuu banzai Datsugokushuu Banzai DATSUGOKUSHUU BANZAI ===== JCDenton's Blog ===== WTF. ===== Cleric's Blog ===== Observation: Patient is highly unstable and a danger to himself and others. Diagnosis: Shows symptoms of megalomania, delusions of grandeur, sociopathic behaviour and violent tendencies. Treatment: We will attempt to implement behavioural therapy. ===== Dolem69's blog ===== === Chapter 3 === The rain lashed at the windows of their small shack and the wind shook the walls, it seemed like at any moment their only shelter would be ripped from them. Adam hugged her closer. "Don't worry Bunny, I'll get you out of here." They both started as the huts door was ripped open, but seconds later Luka entered, forcing the door closed behind him. "Well?" Asked Adam, slightly lustfully as Luka stripped out of his soaked cloths. "I've gone as far as I can. The forest is impenetrable, and I can hardly leave you two alone for long". Everyone was silent, uncomfortably aware of the drips of water running down Luka's hard body, and the lust which hung like a thick fog between them. ** **