Mr Parnell

An unsigned letter with formal but spurious headings and insignia in an envelope with no stamp or postmark

Dear Mr Parnell,

About three weeks ago you acquired the heroic title “Twilight's Hope”. You told nobody. After the first week you noticed that your abilities in runework had improved, so you embarked on a campaign to destroy the lives of your erstwhile schoolyard enemies, whilst magically modifying the attitudes of all the women of your acquaintance so that they would be more likely to sleep with you. You did not think anybody knew what you were doing.

And so I have to take time out of my lunch hour because another navel-gazing little snot has decided that a title means that he is the centre of the world, and everybody else is just fodder for his personal story arc.

Here's how it works. Your title and the privileges that come with it aren't a gift. The cosmos has let you take out a loan, and you pay it back by performing deeds worth the name. Don't make me send in the bailiffs.

The Accountancy Department